Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
