I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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