he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
