I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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