When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
