There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
