I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
