Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
