Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
