hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
