All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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