First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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