nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I believe in your delicious
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
