I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
