There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
