Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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