I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every concussion has its silver lining
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
