I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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