Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
