Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
