Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Randomize
