I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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