She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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