Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
