I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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