If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
