We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
