I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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