Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
