Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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