Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
