I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
