Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
