I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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