K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
