im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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