Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think I just sharted jello shots
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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