Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Damn victory sex feels great
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