the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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