New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
