If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
