He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize
