Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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