"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
