at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
