i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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