Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
