we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think a kid would responsible me up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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