great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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