it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
