New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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